Today physics jokes

The answer to the problem was 'log(1+x)'. A student copied the answer from the good student next to him, but didn't want to make it obvious that he was cheating, so he changed the answer slightly, to 'timber(1+x)'

 

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Bohr moved in atomic circles while Schrodinger waved and Heisenberg
hesitated.

 

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One day a physics professor was discussing a complicated
concept. A pre-medical student rudely interrupted to ask, "Why do we have
to learn this pointless topic."

"To save lives." the professor responded quickly and continued the
lecture.

A few minutes later, the same student spoke up again. "So how does
physics save lives?" he persisted.

"It keeps the ignoramuses like you out of medical school," replied the
professor.

 

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Question: What is the difference between a Quantum Theorist and a Beauty Therapist?

Answer: The Quantum Theorist uses Planck's constant as a foundation, whereas the Beauty Therapist uses Max Factor.

 

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Question: What is horsepower?

Answer: The power it takes to drag a horse a given distance in a given amount of time.

 

 

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Important Task: To change a bulb
Question: How many physicists does it take to change a light bulb?
Answer: Ten; one to change the bulb and nine to theory about how to change it.

Question: How many quantum physicists does it take to change a light bulb?
Answer:  They can't. If they know where the socket is, they cannot locate the new bulb.

Question: How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?
Answer:  None, astronomers prefer the dark.

 

 

Girls: if an annoying boy is trying to chat you up say: "U knows what.....you have a magnetic personality" (I bet he smiles), now say: "you repel me!"

Santa Singh got his promotion and become an officer in Punjab Government. To keep up with his status, he decided to speak only in English to all his subordinates.

One morning, his peon peeped through the door to see if his boss was busy. Santa Singh noticed him and shouted, why you are outstanding! Please income.

 

 

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